


The Sunnydale Tales

by St_Salieri



Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Genre: Bad Poetry, F/M, Humor, Season/Series 06
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-07-11
Updated: 2006-07-11
Packaged: 2017-11-25 07:56:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 932
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/636756
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/St_Salieri/pseuds/St_Salieri
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What if Tara hadn't been the one to see Buffy and Spike in the hallway together in <i>Older and Far Away</i>?</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Sunnydale Tales

**Author's Note:**

> My deep and heartfelt apologies to Geoffrey Chaucer.

 

_Prologue_

 

When winter's chill descends upon the plain  
And drowns the earth in cold and mournful rain;  
When nights are long, and demon hosts of hell  
Descend upon the sleepy little dell  
And leave pernicious chaos in their wake;  
When days of solstice long are past, but still  
The hours of equinox are yet to bloom;  
The time arrives to celebrate the birth  
Of this poor world's lone Hero: she who Slays  
The vampires, demons, hellbeasts, monsters all.  
Our tale begins one night in January,  
When all had gathered here to honor Buffy.

The story of that night cannot be told  
By one so poor as I. Yet I am bold  
To offer up the tales of those who saw  
The shocking things that broke the natural law.  
And so I bring to you the happy three  
Who've borne witness to all that they did see.  
First, there is the Key, a girl named Dawn,  
The younger sister to the Chosen One.  
There also is a Witch, whose fear of power  
Would serve her badly in this solemn hour.  
And finally, another of her friends  
(Whose story you will read before the end).

 

_The Key's Tale_

 

The gathering had only just begun,  
The guests assembled for a night of fun,  
When my blood froze: for I beheld a sight  
That made me doubt that I was seeing right.  
For there I saw them, standing in the hall,  
So close you could not even pass a breath  
Between them. Her hand in his, upon his leg,  
And they were smiling, one upon the other,  
My sister and the vampire! I must beg  
Your kind indulgence, for I was so shocked  
That I could do no more than stop and stare,  
Then quickly run, before they were aware.

I ducked into the living room, so pale,  
My head a blank, my mind a rattled wreck.  
Was it a spell? It must be, without fail.  
I did not know if I could dare believe  
The evidence that told so strong a tale.  
Could they...were they...no, it seemed too strange!  
But, was it true? And why was I not told?  
My insides clenched in knots, my stomach rolled.  
I paused -- but wait, I thought, this would explain  
The odd behaviors I had oft observed.  
There was but one solution to this mess:  
I had to talk to Willow -- she'd know best.

 

_The Witch's Tale_

 

That fateful night I never shall forget  
When first I glimpsed the Slayer's secret acts.  
I can't believe how blind I was! For see,  
It was her sister who revealed to me  
The stolen moment she had just espied.  
And when she told me -- well, I almost died.  
I simply could not comprehend the fact  
That Buffy and a vamp were doing _that_.  
(And yes, there once was Angel, but with Spike?  
I had my proof that something was not right.)  
And so I followed Dawn into the hall  
To try to see exactly what she saw.

The pair had disappeared, there was no doubt.  
Where had they gone? Could they be yet found out?  
We prowled the floor, both Dawn and I, and yet  
We found no sign of either quasi-lover.  
Had it been but a dream? Alas, perhaps.  
And then Dawn stopped, eyes wide, for there above her  
We heard the sounds of footsteps beating time  
Along the hallway, then a closing door.  
Exchanging a quick glance, we started up,  
but just to see if something would erupt.  
It was not obvious to our feeble minds  
That Xander also followed close behind.

 

_The Zeppo's Tale_

 

I swear I'd just come out to find some snacks:  
Sneak out, get food, and quickly sneak right back.  
Instead, I sighted Willow and young Dawn,  
Both creeping up the stairs: first here, now gone.  
Intrigued, I followed close behind to see  
Where they were going. Quickly they led me  
To Buffy's room, where they stooped and peered  
Beneath the door, then jumped as my throat cleared.  
So guilty they both looked! But would not say  
What they were doing, why they looked so dismayed.  
About to speak, I paused instead to hear:  
A noise from Buffy's room came loud and clear.

She's hurt! - I cried. - Can you not hear the roar?  
She's crying out for rescue! We must help! -  
I heard the sound again, a muffled yelp,  
And desperately I breached the unlocked door.

What was revealed...oh God, my eyes, my eyes!  
I could not help but stare in shocked surprise  
At Buffy's naked breasts, so high and firm,  
And then at Spike's bare ass, which made me burn.  
The two of them were groping at each other,  
Mere moments from a horrible mistake.  
I could not speak. I gaped, and they stared back,  
Then Buffy's face turned red, and she did shake.  
And Spike, that bastard, laughing all the while  
At my distress, which made poor Buffy smile.  
A nightmare came to life in light of day!  
Then to my shame, I fainted dead away.

 

_Epilogue_

 

What happened then, dear readers? I must draw  
The sacred veil of silence on this tale.  
I crave your pardon, and I leave to you  
To picture, if you will, our desperate two,  
Their long-held secret open now to view.  
Did Xander ever waken from his faint?  
Did Willow try to magic them apart?  
Did this cause Dawn to open up her heart?  
The Slayer and her vampire's secret trysts  
Revealed to all what everyone had missed.  
Of this I say no more, except I know  
That where true love exists, no secrets go.

 


End file.
